YOU ARE AN UNCHARACTERISTICALLY BRED SHETLAND PONY. OBNOXIOUS AND STOCKY, YOU'VE BEEN BRED TO HAVE THE SHIT BEATEN OUT OF YOU IN COAL MINES. YOU HAVE A TENDENCY TO KICK SMALL CHILDREN.
YOU ARE A BRETON DRAFT HORSE. YOU'RE REALLY BIG AND HAIRY AND WILL PROBABLY KILL SOMEONE BY ACCIDENT AT SOME POINT DURING YOUR ABNORMALLY SHORT LIFE. BUT YOU'RE HARD WORKING AND VERY SWEET AS LONG AS YOU'RE FED ON TIME.
YOU ARE AN AMERICAN STANDARDBRED. SCARILY OVERBRED AND FREQUENTLY CLINICALLY INSANE, YOU HAVE NO ABILITY TO FOCUS ON ANY ONE SUBJECT AND TEND TOWARDS AUTISTIC BEHAVIOR. YOU WILL BE EUTHANIZED AS SOON AS YOUR TRACK CAREER BECOMES STALE.
YOU ARE AN AMERICAN STANDARDBRED. SCARILY OVERBRED AND FREQUENTLY CLINICALLY INSANE, YOU HAVE NO ABILITY TO FOCUS ON ANY ONE SUBJECT AND TEND TOWARDS AUTISTIC BEHAVIOR. YOU WILL BE EUTHANIZED AS SOON AS YOUR TRACK CAREER BECOMES STALE.
YOU ARE AN EXMOOR PONY. YOU CAN CARRY A LOT OF SHIT. YOU'RE A DESCENDENT OF PREHISTORIC HORSES THAT CROSSED THAT LAND BRIDGE THING. YOU'RE NOT TOO POPULAR, BUT YOU'VE HUNG AROUND IN THE SCENE FOR A LONG TIME.
YOU ARE A CASPIAN HORSE. YOU'RE USED AS A TRICK PONY, AND YOU'RE SOMEWHAT RARE AND HARD TO FIND. YOU'RE KIND OF LITTLE, AND YOU'RE EASILY LED INTO DOING THINGS THAT EVERY OTHER ANIMAL WOULDN'T IN THEIR RIGHT MIND ATTEMPT. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S GOOD OR BAD.
YOU ARE A LUSITANO. KNOWN FOR YOUR PATIENCE, WILLINGNESS, EMPATHY AND GENERALLY GENTLE NATURE. YOU ARE ONE OF THE OLDEST CLASSICAL BREEDS OF HORSE, AND YOUR INTELLIGENCE IS RENOWNED. YOU'RE ALSO REALLY FUCKING EXPENSIVE.
YOU'RE REALLY BIG AND HAIRY AND WILL PROBABLY KILL SOMEONE BY ACCIDENT AT SOME POINT DURING YOUR ABNORMALLY SHORT LIFE. BUT YOU'RE HARD WORKING AND VERY SWEET AS LONG AS YOU'RE FED ON TIME.
YOU ARE A CLYDESDALE. YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH THE SAINT BERNARD OF THE HORSE WORLD. BIG AND SWEET, YOU TEND TO DO WHATEVER ANYBODY WANTS AND THEN YOU FART IN THEIR FACE.
YOU ARE A HACKNEY PONY. YOUR OVERBREEDING MAKES YOU VERY REFINED LOOKING BUT DAMN ARE YOU AN ATTENTION WHORE OR WHAT. THERE'S A SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT ARE REALLY INTO YOUR CHARACTERISTICS BUT THE OBSESSION REALLY BORDERS ON UNHEALTHY. HAVE FUN WITH THE ARTHRITIS YOU'LL INEVITABLY GET LATER IN LIFE!
YOU ARE A GYPSY VANNER. YOU'RE BRED BY IDIOTS THAT DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING, AND YOUR CONFORMATION IS QUESTIONABLE AT BEST. BECAUSE OF YOUR BREED IS SO NEW, YOU'RE HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS AND AREN'T QUITE SURE IF YOU'RE A SADDLE HORSE OR A RACKING HORSE OR MEANT FOR HAULING LOGS OUT OF THE WOODS. HAVE FUN WITH YOUR CONFUSION, BECAUSE YOU'LL PROBABLY END UP JUST SNAPPING SOME DAY AND RUNNING YOURSELF HAPHAZARDLY INTO A FENCE TO COMMIT SUICIDE.
YOU ARE A KENTUCKY MOUNTAIN SADDLE HORSE. YOU'RE A KNOCKOFF OF A TRADITIONAL SADDLE HORSE, AND DAMN DO YOU TRY HARD TO FIT IN WITH THE REST. TOO BAD NOBODY REALLY CARES ABOUT YOUR BREED, AND THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE GOING FOR YOU IS YOUR ODDLY COLORED MANE AND TAIL.
YOU ARE A HAFLINGER! THESE PONIES ARE BAD ASS. THEY CAN CARRY 25% OF THEIR BODY WEIGHT AND NOT EVEN BAT AN EYE. THEY ARE TOUGH LITTLE SHITS, AND WHENEVER THEY GET THE PONY-TUDE YOU CAN JUST WOP 'EM OVER THE HEAD AND THEY REALIZE THEY'RE REALLY WAY TOO LAZY TO RETALIATE. BUT YOU LOOK GOOD IN A FIELD OF FLOWERS!
YOU ARE A KNABSTRUPPER. DAMN, DO THOSE SPOTS MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF? APPARENTLY THESE HORSES ARE HIGHLY VALUED BECAUSE IT'S EASY TO GET THEM TO DO THINGS. AAHHH. THAT EXPLAINS A LOT DOESN'T IT? DON'T WORRY. YOU WERE AROUND BEFORE THE APPALOOSA, SO YOU CAN KEEP YOUR DIGNITY. SORT OF.
YOU ARE A PAINT PONY. YOU'VE BEEN DESIGNED TO CARRY SCREAMING CHILDREN AROUND AND YOU ARE FREQUENTLY BEATEN WHEN YOU DISOBEY. RESIGN YOURSELF NOW BECAUSE IF YOU ARE THE FANCY OVERBRED TYPE, YOU'RE GOING TO END UP WITH NAVICULAR DISEASE OR A THYROID TUMOR. IF YOU'RE NOT THE FANCY TYPE, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE AN AWFULLY LONG LIFE OF BEING BEATEN BY THE KIDS THAT OWN YOU. AND YOU'RE GOING TO EAT A LOT OF STICKERS.
Oh man, I hope I get a highly intelligent breed with awesome conformation, that is slightly high strung with tons of endurance + heart and outstanding athletic capabilities!~
YOU ARE THE LIPIZZAN. THESE HORSES ARE FILLED WITH WONDER AND ENCHANTMENT AND HAVE A BOLD HISTORY THROUGHOUT THE WORLD OF CLASSICAL TRAINING. YOUR TALENTS ARE TRULY HISTORICAL AND BREATHTAKING TO WATCH. YOU ARE THE MOST COVETED OF BREEDS.
