i have had my toenail ripped out of my toe multiple times
I've seen that done, it looked unreal. The freezing needles left a swollen ring around the toe, before they gouged out the nail and scraped the nail bed deeply. Even though they said her nail would never grow back it still kept growing in again. ouch!
Well, one day I woke up, and I couldn't walk properly, and my eyes wouldn't focus on anything. I had no proper sense of balance. So my dad took me into the hospital. I was getting hives all over, but I don't know if that was related or not (for some reason the hives seemed to happen when I drank milk...). Anyhow, the doctors examined me, and kept asking if I was doing any kind of drugs, which I wasn't. Eventually, my parents convinced them I wasn't just hopped up on goofballs, and they started doing all kinds of tests. Starting with blood, probably to test for drugs.
I had an MRI, CAT Scan, they did ultrasound, whatever they decided might make some cool pictures of my insides. So, that way, they pretty much ruled out a brain tumor. But they still didn't know what it was. So they took some more blood, and also some cerebrospinal fluid. There's your Spinal Tap right there.
Eventually they figured out I had something called Miller-Fisher syndrome. In order to make it go away faster, they put into my IV some kind of product made from the blood of 1000 or so people. They told me it might not have any AIDS in it, and I guess I'm still not showing any signs of infection, so hopefully they were right. Anyhow, I spent the next two weeks in the hospital, re-discovering the joys of shitty daytime television and whatnot. Shaking a urine-sample container full of safety pins to get the nurse's attention, because my buzzer was broken, at times such as when the IV tube became detached from the needle, and I started bleeding all over. They let me play some Sonic the Hedgehog game once. Fun times.
Then, I went home at around the time everyone else on the floor started developing diarrhea. I missed my highschool exams for that semester, but since I was sick, I got out of doing rewrites. Woot.
And since my eyes were still messed up, I had to wear an eyepatch to school, and was promptly nicknamed 'Captain Black' by some random guy who I don't know who it was.
to test for guillen barre syndrome, a crazy auto-immune disease. yeah fork, it feels like roses and dancing pixies
hah. what I had is a variant of Guillain-Barré.
really though, for me it didn't hurt. it was just uncomfortable and awkward. anyhow, I guess it's different for everyone. and depends on how good your doctors are!
this is very true. oo yes, i have had cavities filled without pain meds. it mainly feels searingly cold. the blood only counts if it's from 1000 vigins, everybody knows that.
Most painful thing I've done to myself was probably popping my broken and dislocated elbow back into place in a hospital waiting room. Felt better after though. What didn't feel so great was when I had to lean that now-only-broken elbow on a surface to take the x-ray.
DEFINITELY WHEN I SEVERED TWO TENDONS IN MY LEFT FOOT.
NOT ONLY DID I FEEL THEM STRETCH AND SNAP AND FEEL SOMETHING POP OUT OF PLACE, I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL AND HAD THEM TELL ME THAT SINCE I DIDN'T HAVE INSURANCE MY FOOT WAS FINE AND TO WALK ON IT WHEN IT FELT BETTER. THE INTERN OR ORDERLY OR WHOEVER HE WAS DECIDED TO PUT MY FOOT IN A SPLINT AND DID A BENDY MOVEMENT WITH IT AND I NEARLY KILLED HIM RIGHT THEN AND THERE.
Worst was probably having four permanent molars pulled without any, well, anything. My dad's branch of the family has absolutely no response to novocaine or laughing gas. i got that gene. Apparently about 3 people just left the waiting room after hearing me screaming. i was about 11.
Migraines.
Assorted giant deep gashes in my feet that require either days / weeks of bed rest and being carried around with my foot above heart level or having a family member pull a 2-inch piece of curved thick glass out... i spend most of my life without shoes, i mean, what did i really expect? those weren't that bad, pain-wise, just bloody.
Oh, getting my hand closed in a car door and crushed to the point that the door latched and i no longer have a third knuckle on my right hand was not so much fun, as was getting bounced around a trampoline with a dislocated shoulder.
But really, the teeth and the migraines. More straightforward pain is pretty manageable.
i have had my toenail ripped out of my toe multiple times
as a kid they used to remove some of my toenails whole, while i was awake, but they did numb it up.
also, had sinus surgery a few years ago. when as they finish and i'm still in lala land, they packed my sinus cavity full of gauze. a few days later i had to go into the doctors office (head full of gauze) and he put a pair of tweezers up my nose. once he found what he was looking for then came a violent pull down on his part. i have never seen that much blood or heard a grosser noise to this day.
NOT A PROCEDURE REALLY, BUT I HOWLED IN PAIN WHEN THE NURSE WAS SHIFTING MY ARM ABOUT TO GET THE PROPER ANGLE FOR AN X-RAY WHEN I DISLOCATED MY SHOULDER. NOT AS ANY TOUGH GUY TYPE OF THING, BUT I GENERALLY GET VERY QUIET WHEN I'M IN PAIN AND THAT WAS THE ONE AND ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE WHEN I ACTUALLY MOANED/YELLED BECAUSE OF IT. HERE'S A PICTURE OF THE AFTERMATH:
ALL THE BLOOD FROM THE TORN SOCKET RAN DOWN THE INSIDE OF MY ARM UNDER MY SKIN AND ENDED UP WHERE YOU SEE IT.
oh, this wasn't that bad, but when i had my wisdom teeth out, i reacted to the meds and vomited gauze everywhere. Then a piece of my jaw that they broke off during surgery started rejecting out through my gums and i went to the dr. who just charged me a buttload to jerk it out.
The time I fell off of a swing a landed on my chin. As a result, I bit CLEAN THROUGH MY TONGUE. I heard the teeth 'click' as they slammed together.
My mom said there was so much blood, she thought I was actually gonna die. The worst part, however, was when the ER dr put my tongue back together. The stitches were QUITE MEMORABLE, let me tell you. (That hurt worse that the time I broke my collarbone.)
Nothing could pass down my digestive system and i threw up bile into my mouth while my jaw was wired shut.
This other time they took a screw out of my knee that had been loosened up like a slut. Beef curtains.
I had glass pulled out of in and around my face/eye/all those other things you use for fuck making.
I had this girl break up with me on her birthday.
that fucking bitch. beef curtains.
This other time i had a fucking tube shoved up my dick and out twice while i was awake. Then another two times when i still couldn't piss for 10 hours. That was some pain morphine wouldn't solve. Then they stuck the tube up my dick so some of the pressure would relieve and took it out so i could piss with out a catheter.
I was awake the first time i took a shit after 6 months.
I was awake most of the time I got home and had tubes sticking out of my stomach.
One was attached to my small intestine the other my stomach. Worse pain when i would have either tugged at.
lost a piece of my left index finger in a factory accident. making fuel lines for tractors. had it sewn back together in the emergency room. it is pretty fucking ugly.
I had part of a silicone earplug break off and get lodged in my ear canal, all the way to the eardrum.
It was stuck in for 2 days total; the first emergency room was unsuccessful at digging it out or spraying hot water in my ear to "float it out," so I was stuck with an ear full of water and silicone overnight.
The next day I went back to a Kaiser 40 minutes away, which was the first ENT appointment I could get.
Instead of passing me straight through to the specialist, the Triage idiots stuck long forceps in my ear to try to dig it out for 30 minutes until I screamed at them to stop. That's probably some of the worst pain I've ever experienced, including hitting trees and ice skiing, getting picked up by riptide and getting slammed into the sea floor, getting shot in the dick, thigh and close-range on the arm playing Paintball before I was smart enough to wear a jersey... And a bunch of other really stupid things I've done over the years.
i fell halfway out of a tree as a kid.. my leg got stuck on the way down and i dislocated my knee.. however i was alone in the woods so i had to free myself and walk home....
that was almost as much fun as digging gravel out of my broken hip with a leatherman...
when i was in labor with my daughter, i had a total of eight epidural/spinal blocks. they could not get them to work. then i an emergency c-section because my baby was under too much stress and her heart beat dropped down in to the 30's. the most painful/scary part was during one of the jamming of needles in my spine they hit a nerve and my entire right side of my body felt like it was being electrocuted. i thought i was going to be paralyzed. the nurse had the nerve to say "hold still, she has a needle in your back" DURING/AFTER they fucked up. here's a big fuck you to the doctors/nurses during that part of my delivery at dewitt army hospital. and now i have a few little pen point size scars and an always weird feeling when someone touches that area of my lower back.
ive broken bones falling out of trees, in car accidents, wrestling with my gf, getting hit by cars, sledding, fighting, working, biking and not listining to my mom (she broke both my wrists before i was 4)
last night i was biking home from my friends house and it was extra dark out, and i was wearing no glasses. i go to pull out my phone and call my mom, but instead my tires went wiggle wiggle on some train tracks that i didn't see and i fell directly onto my shoulder. i proceeded to try to sleep and pretend like i was okay. i also got a HUGE bruise on my underbutt (i took a picture) and yeah i broke my collar bone. i cried instead of slept last night. it sucks, this is my first broken bone. the end
When I got home after biking there one-handed, I still thought my elbow was just sprained or something. But then I took off my sweater...
This comic explains it:
I popped it back into place in the hospital waiting room by wedging it between two chairs and pulling :p
getting your membranes stripped (basically they pull the amniotic sac away from the uterine wall) to induce labor feels amazingly lovely.
epidural injections of steroids are awesome too. so are facet injections and pars injections. never had a spinal tap, but these are pretty close.
o and the root canal. still didnt hurt as much as the toothache, but it had its moments. it was especially great because the tooth it was done on is only supposed to have 3 roots, and mine has 4. and the roots all curve out in different directions. it took 3 rounds to clean the whole tooth out.
o shit and a nerve conductions study is amazingly fun. here, lets stick gigantic ass needles into large muscle groups then zap the muscles (basically with a tazer) to get the nerves to react while the needles are embedded.
shit, i bring lollipops for myself whenever i go to the damned doctor now
I was about 4 or 5 and at the dentist and instead of making me numb they strapped me down and ignored my screaming and waving hands(as my arms were strapped to my sides) and yanked out 3 teeth.
Another time I was at the dentist and he was doing something (was too young to remember the procedure) but afterwards my mouth was numb and I remember being taken out to the waiting room and given to my mom and him saying I might complain a little bit because of my numb mouth. I also remember playing w my tongue in the car on the way home. Then I went into my room and looked in the mirror and noticed my tongue had been sliced down the middle- split like a lizards. I notified my mom who took me to the hospital where I had to get my tongue stitched, and halfway through the numbness wore off.
This dentist was later sued for malpractice. I now have an extreme dentist phobia.
