Bristol calmed me down though she said she could get this surgery from a doctor called a C-section and then her pussy would still be hella tight and if the baby was all fucked up and crazy again we could just throw it away and pretend it died from like baby shit like a rattle or something.
I don't know when that bitch ain't holding a gun she is holding a baby and one day she is gonna get mixed up and be shooting a baby and shit and squirting milk from them big ol titties on an m-16.
Then she said the cool part was when her mom becomes VEEP she is like real powerful and that makes Bristol like a princess and then by extension i become like a duke or a baron or something. A Lord maybe.
Naw, but Bristol wouldn't get no abortion and I was like "damn girl your pussy is all ripped up already lookin like dried apricots you cant handle two of them motherfuckers coming out you." She refused to talk to me so I just took that shit to the ice and took it out on some faggot ass goalies. Scored all in their shit.
The important thing is Bristol can get that surgery so her pussy doesn't fall out of her ass or whatever. Then before I went in there to the convention they gave me this gay ass haircut and made me wear a special shirt. They had me wright down all kinds of shit and answer a bunch of stupid questions like "what sort of shit do you love?" I totally put bristol down as number 1 because i always know how to answer that shit the way they want. Then i was like #2 america, best country ever, and #3 hockey. Woulda put Brooks & dunn and carharts too but i figure 3 was enough numbers.
I think that is bad as fuck. Lord Levi Johnston, your table is waiting. Lord Johnston, do you mind if I model this lingerie for you? Ha ha ha just kidding I am totally 100% faithful to willow.
don't know how it all worked because I was fucked up as hell on oxy and everclear when they was telling me on the plane but I guess like Mrs. Palin married some other dude to become VEep. I guess thats cool because Todd is a total chodesworth. She fucks everybody and he is too busy driving around in snow machines and fuckin fishing or some shit to even notice. This other dude that Mrs. Palin is marrying though is like 1000 years old and he always looks pissed
