MEMO TO: New Users, FROM: Nadbash, RE: Your treatment here. - New Users!

duvaldallas

MIDDLEBURG/FL
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 1811

June 14th, 2009 - 6:20 PM

ahahhaa
yes

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

June 17th, 2009 - 5:14 PM

18.

Kadens_Marie

NORMAN/AR
Joined: 03/27/09
Posts: 5958

July 11th, 2009 - 5:51 AM

bump, 'cause this should never fall behind on /3.

Kadens_Marie

NORMAN/AR
Joined: 03/27/09
Posts: 5958

July 11th, 2009 - 5:53 AM

And this.

mark Said:

IN MY OLDSCHOOL THERE IS PROBLEM
AND THAT PROBLEM IS THE N00B.
THEY TAKE EVERYBODY FUNNY.
THEY NEVER GIVE IT BACK TO YOU.

THROW THE N00B DOWN THE WELL!
SO MY OLDSCHOOL CAN BE FREE!
SO MY OLDSCHOOL CAN BE FREE!
YOU MUST GRAB HIM BY HIS FAGGOTRY!
AND THEN WE THROW A BIG PARTY!

lah_dee_dah

ELMONT/NY
Joined: 06/17/09
Posts: 102

July 11th, 2009 - 6:06 PM

Nadbash Said:

17. Thou shalt not change the written English language to reflect thine speeech impediments. For example, "wat" and "dat" are not acceptable substitutions for "what" and "that." That is not the thy lord the Nadbash being a grammar nazi, that is thine ignorant ass raping our beautiful language.

*bows* Thank you

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

July 13th, 2009 - 5:14 AM

19. If thou wishest to describe thineself as random, then thou must commit to the horrifying plastic surgery and lobotomy required to break thee of thine stagnant, boring personality, because thou aren'tst random, thou art predictable and boring. Listening to emo may destroy thine brain, but it does not make thine personality spontaneous.

20. Pull up thine pants, for the good lord Nadbash does not need to see thine underwear.

Kadens_Marie

NORMAN/AR
Joined: 03/27/09
Posts: 5958

July 17th, 2009 - 11:39 PM

bump.

wavesxaway

GARLAND/TX
Joined: 09/25/08
Posts: 3337

July 17th, 2009 - 11:46 PM

yes this needed to be reopened!

whatababydoll

AUSTIN/TX
Joined: 07/17/09
Posts: 187

July 21st, 2009 - 12:04 AM

ummlakyn Said:

GLORIOUS.

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

July 21st, 2009 - 10:56 AM

21. Nobody likes a whiny shithead. People aren't being mean to you, you're just a stupid fucknut.

teaandfirelight

GLENDALE/AZ
Joined: 05/05/09
Posts: 4122

July 21st, 2009 - 12:31 PM

I have this list saved on my computer.
One day I will chisel it into stone and beat my children with it when they act stupid.

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

July 21st, 2009 - 1:03 PM

teaandfirelight Said:

I have this list saved on my computer.
One day I will chisel it into stone and beat my children with it when they act stupid.

I feel really bad for my son. I already call him emo when he's crying. Yesterday he didn't want to go to bed and I asked if he was gonna write in his livejournal about it. I'm a terrible father.

teaandfirelight

GLENDALE/AZ
Joined: 05/05/09
Posts: 4122

July 21st, 2009 - 2:00 PM

Nadbash Said:

teaandfirelight Said:

I have this list saved on my computer.
One day I will chisel it into stone and beat my children with it when they act stupid.

I feel really bad for my son. I already call him emo when he's crying. Yesterday he didn't want to go to bed and I asked if he was gonna write in his livejournal about it. I'm a terrible father.

I really hope this is the truth because I snorted.

ummlakyn

DALLAS/TX
Joined: 12/26/08
Posts: 3270

July 21st, 2009 - 2:04 PM

Nadbash Said:

teaandfirelight Said:

I have this list saved on my computer.
One day I will chisel it into stone and beat my children with it when they act stupid.

I feel really bad for my son. I already call him emo when he's crying. Yesterday he didn't want to go to bed and I asked if he was gonna write in his livejournal about it. I'm a terrible father.

dearbelovedfire

Tojotto
Joined: 10/29/08
Posts: 1451

July 21st, 2009 - 2:13 PM

Nadbash Said:

teaandfirelight Said:

I have this list saved on my computer.
One day I will chisel it into stone and beat my children with it when they act stupid.

I feel really bad for my son. I already call him emo when he's crying. Yesterday he didn't want to go to bed and I asked if he was gonna write in his livejournal about it. I'm a terrible father.

All children should have to go to boot camp with you.

I feel like you could straighten out the youth of today.

tianix

CHICAGO/IL
Joined: 06/21/09
Posts: 321

July 21st, 2009 - 9:29 PM

gibby needs to put this up somewhere.

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

July 25th, 2009 - 8:54 PM

22, The good nadbash demands not faith, but money and sexual favors go a long way.

whiteSOwhiite

SNOHOMISH/WA
Joined: 07/12/09
Posts: 641

July 31st, 2009 - 4:51 PM

this topic is the whole reason I never got flamed so I'm bumping it

send_a_sonnet

Toronto
Joined: Old School
Posts: 904

July 31st, 2009 - 4:53 PM

This thread reeks of win

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

August 5th, 2009 - 5:59 PM

23 Thou shalt STAY IN FUCKING NEW USERS UNTIL THINE ASS IS DEEMED WORTHY FOR OTHER FORUMS.

Kadens_Marie

NORMAN/AR
Joined: 03/27/09
Posts: 5958

August 5th, 2009 - 7:44 PM

I HOPE I HATH BEEN DEEMED WORTHY. D:

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

August 5th, 2009 - 7:46 PM

Kadens_Marie Said:

I HOPE I HATH BEEN DEEMED WORTHY. D:

You hath.

Kadens_Marie

NORMAN/AR
Joined: 03/27/09
Posts: 5958

August 5th, 2009 - 7:52 PM

My day just got ten times better.

Thank you, oh mighty Nadbash.

chelseaxcharmed

WESTMINSTER/MD
Joined: 01/22/09
Posts: 1767

August 13th, 2009 - 3:53 PM

deathfuckinmeta

CAMBRIDGE/MA
Joined: Old School
Posts: 5545

August 13th, 2009 - 4:29 PM

FINALLY PINNED!!!!!!!

chelseaxcharmed

WESTMINSTER/MD
Joined: 01/22/09
Posts: 1767

August 13th, 2009 - 4:44 PM

deathfuckinmeta Said:

FINALLY PINNED!!!!!!!

xXmuffinXx

MOUNT TABOR/NJ
Joined: 08/10/09
Posts: 13

August 14th, 2009 - 2:39 PM

Nadbash Said:

17. Thou shalt not change the written English language to reflect thine speeech impediments. For example, "wat" and "dat" are not acceptable substitutions for "what" and "that." That is not the thy lord the Nadbash being a grammar nazi, that is thine ignorant ass raping our beautiful language.

i dnt c anything rong wit using da words "wat" nd "dat"

send_a_sonnet

Toronto
Joined: Old School
Posts: 904

August 14th, 2009 - 2:43 PM

chelseaxcharmed Said:

deathfuckinmeta Said:

FINALLY PINNED!!!!!!!

About fuckin time! And you:

xXmuffinXx Said:

Nadbash Said:

17. Thou shalt not change the written English language to reflect thine speeech impediments. For example, "wat" and "dat" are not acceptable substitutions for "what" and "that." That is not the thy lord the Nadbash being a grammar nazi, that is thine ignorant ass raping our beautiful language.

i dnt c anything rong wit using da words "wat" nd "dat"

Obey the commandments or GET THE FUCK OFF!

chelseaxcharmed

WESTMINSTER/MD
Joined: 01/22/09
Posts: 1767

August 14th, 2009 - 4:54 PM

xXmuffinXx Said:

Nadbash Said:

17. Thou shalt not change the written English language to reflect thine speeech impediments. For example, "wat" and "dat" are not acceptable substitutions for "what" and "that." That is not the thy lord the Nadbash being a grammar nazi, that is thine ignorant ass raping our beautiful language.

i dnt c anything rong wit using da words "wat" nd "dat"

DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE.
THOSE ARE NOT WORDS, THEY ARE FAIL.

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

August 18th, 2009 - 9:03 PM

Holy shit this was pinned?

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

August 20th, 2009 - 5:24 AM

My new revised commandments:
1. Be not a douchebag.
2. Concern thyself more with thine vocabulary and less with thine eyeliner.
3. Spell not like a retard.
4. Make not of n00dz until thine eighteenth summer, for thou invitest thine party van upon the innocent.
5. Cry not when thou art humiliated, learn from thine mistakes.
6. Thou art not a victim until the good nadbash says so.
7. Whine not about thine mushroom stamps, lest ye invite more upon thine sinful face.
8. Photoshop not thine nearly naked form unto playboy magazines, and pimp not thine annoying gay philipino ass upon the masses, for thine actions art quite annoying.
9. Overuse not internet memes, for their hilarity should be preserved for those who come after you.
10. The nadbash reserves the right to add/subtract commandments to adapt to thine further annoyingness.
11. Thou shalt not pine after thy cousin, for that shit is fucked up.
12. When the good Nadbash says thou art dead, then thine ass is dead.
13. Thou shalt take a fucking hint. Seriously. Get the fuck out of here.
14. If thine caps lock key is broken then thou shalt buy a new keyboard, or bash thine own head in with the broken keyboard until lowercase letters start coming out.
15. Thou shalt not post on message boards when suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome.
16. Saint Hathos is excluded from commandment 14.
17. Thou shalt not change the written English language to reflect thine speech impediments. For example, "wat" and "dat" are not acceptable substitutions for "what" and "that." That is not the thy lord the Nadbash being a grammar nazi, that is thine ignorant ass raping our beautiful language.
18.

19. If thou wishest to describe thineself as random, then thou must commit to the horrifying plastic surgery and lobotomy required to break thee of thine stagnant, boring personality, because thou aren'tst random, thou art predictable and boring. Listening to emo may destroy thine brain, but it does not make thine personality spontaneous.
20. Pull up thine pants, for the good lord Nadbash does not need to see thine underwear.
21. Nobody likes a whiny shithead. People aren't being mean to you, you're just a stupid fucknut.
22. The good nadbash demands not faith, but money and sexual favors go a long way.
23. Thou shalt STAY IN FUCKING NEW USERS UNTIL THINE ASS IS DEEMED WORTHY FOR OTHER FORUMS.
24. If thou joinest an established community then thou art expectedeth to either conform to said community's structure, or be interesting enough to bring something new to the game. If thou art flamed, then thou art most likely deserving of it.
25. Though thine chesticles may be enticing, they are never valid substitutes for personality. Think not with thine funbags, but with thine brainmeats.
26. Bully not for the sake of bullying, but for the sake of keeping our community free of the tards that sap it of it's awesome. Or if it's really funny.
27. If thou choosest to bully for the sake of tard cleansing, remember that sometimes the carrot gets more result than the stick. No, this isn't a penis joke.

Emo_Sweetheart3

Basingstoke
Joined: 08/11/09
Posts: 1

August 21st, 2009 - 5:40 AM

Okay Lord Nadbash

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

September 8th, 2009 - 6:20 PM

1. Be not a douchebag.
2. Concern thyself more with thine vocabulary and less with thine eyeliner.
3. Spell not like a retard.
4. Make not of n00dz until thine eighteenth summer, for thou invitest thine party van upon the innocent.
5. Cry not when thou art humiliated, learn from thine mistakes.
6. Thou art not a victim until the good nadbash says so.
7. Whine not about thine mushroom stamps, lest ye invite more upon thine sinful face.
8. Photoshop not thine nearly naked form unto playboy magazines, and pimp not thine annoying gay philipino ass upon the masses, for thine actions art quite annoying.
9. Overuse not internet memes, for their hilarity should be preserved for those who come after you.
10. The nadbash reserves the right to add/subtract commandments to adapt to thine further annoyingness.
11. Thou shalt not pine after thy cousin, for that shit is fucked up.
12. When the good Nadbash says thou art dead, then thine ass is dead.
13. Thou shalt take a fucking hint. Seriously. Get the fuck out of here.
14. If thine caps lock key is broken then thou shalt buy a new keyboard, or bash thine own head in with the broken keyboard until lowercase letters start coming out.
15. Thou shalt not post on message boards when suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome.
16. Saint Hathos is excluded from commandment 14.
17. Thou shalt not change the written English language to reflect thine speech impediments. For example, "wat" and "dat" are not acceptable substitutions for "what" and "that." That is not the thy lord the Nadbash being a grammar nazi, that is thine ignorant ass raping our beautiful language.
18.
19. If thou wishest to describe thineself as random, then thou must commit to the horrifying plastic surgery and lobotomy required to break thee of thine stagnant, boring personality, because thou aren'tst random, thou art predictable and boring. Listening to emo may destroy thine brain, but it does not make thine personality spontaneous.
20. Pull up thine pants, for the good lord Nadbash does not need to see thine underwear.
21. Nobody likes a whiny shithead. People aren't being mean to you, you're just a stupid fucknut.
22. The good nadbash demands not faith, but money and sexual favors go a long way.
23. Thou shalt STAY IN FUCKING NEW USERS UNTIL THINE ASS IS DEEMED WORTHY FOR OTHER FORUMS.
24. If thou joinest an established community then thou art expectedeth to either conform to said community's structure, or be interesting enough to bring something new to the game. If thou art flamed, then thou art most likely deserving of it.
25. Though thine chesticles may be enticing, they are never valid substitutes for personality. Think not with thine funbags, but with thine brainmeats.
26. Bully not for the sake of bullying, but for the sake of keeping our community free of the tards that sap it of it's awesome. Or if it's really funny.
27. If thou choosest to bully for the sake of tard cleansing, remember that sometimes the carrot gets more result than the stick. No, this isn't a penis joke.
28. Thou shalt learn from thy failure and not whine about being hated, for that art counterproductive and in reality makes us hate you so much more than your original stupidity.

wolfscare

kampala
Joined: 08/27/09
Posts: 2

September 10th, 2009 - 8:18 AM

BRING IT ON...........VERE VIDI VINCHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TO U ALL..........LOL

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

September 21st, 2009 - 10:14 AM

29. We wouldn't be mean if you didn't suck so much you fucking knob-slobbering assjacks. This commandment has been enacted because apparently people didn't read #21 hard enough.

xmeggiex

BALTIMORE/MD
Joined: 03/17/09
Posts: 12

September 28th, 2009 - 2:06 PM

i love this.

tnf

PHOENIX/AZ
Joined: 09/11/09
Posts: 1131

September 28th, 2009 - 2:18 PM

Is there something about getting xxxxx out of usernames in the commandments yet, Fair Nadbash?

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

September 28th, 2009 - 2:48 PM

tnf Said:

Is there something about getting xxxxx out of usernames in the commandments yet, Fair Nadbash?

30. If thou musteth artificially prefix and/or suffix thy name with the 24th letter, then thou shalt be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

wandaizzole

Toronto
Joined: 10/12/09
Posts: 114

October 15th, 2009 - 3:58 AM

BonnarooBoy87 Said:

"it is highly unlikely that you will be targeted arbitrarily and destroyed." - Made me fucking LOL!!!

^this exactly.
=]

TresChic

WASHINGTON/DC
Joined: 10/07/09
Posts: 888

October 15th, 2009 - 4:48 AM

For the non-computer-linguistic... what the hell do /3 and /7 mean?

leenmachine

AUSTRALIA
Joined: 09/21/09
Posts: 1060

October 15th, 2009 - 4:52 AM

http://www.makeoutclub.com/boards/3/topic/33311/ 2

that's the link for this thread.
note the /3 after boards.
/7 is all ages board.

TresChic

WASHINGTON/DC
Joined: 10/07/09
Posts: 888

October 15th, 2009 - 4:53 AM

Thanks, just figured it out.

TheMagus

CARDIFF BY THE SEA/CA
Joined: Old School
Posts: 2453

October 15th, 2009 - 6:16 AM

wtf is a /3??

sorry, i'm old.

TresChic

WASHINGTON/DC
Joined: 10/07/09
Posts: 888

October 15th, 2009 - 6:18 AM

TheMagus Said:

wtf is a /3??

sorry, i'm old.

leenmachine Said:

http://www.makeoutclub.com/boards/3/topic/33311/ 2

that's the link for this thread.
note the /3 after boards.
/7 is all ages board.

Read, sir. Thank you.

TheMagus

CARDIFF BY THE SEA/CA
Joined: Old School
Posts: 2453

October 15th, 2009 - 6:30 AM

oh new users? yeah, that's not me.

Konrad_Smith

CONCORD/CA
Joined: 10/18/09
Posts: 291

October 19th, 2009 - 11:30 PM

Commandments?
Worship?
Ruthless sodomy?

Sounds like good reading material

DrIraina

BAKERSFIELD/CA
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 8

October 19th, 2009 - 11:38 PM

I would like to follow your religion where can I pick up my bible becuase I am sure it is epic, and thank you for saving my new user soul!

AmyElectricity

Norwich
Joined: 10/21/09
Posts: 24

October 21st, 2009 - 2:03 PM

Nadbash Said:

2. Concern thyself more with thine vocabulary and less with thine eyeliner.
3. Spell not like a retard.
.

I'm new & am now a little scared of what to say after reading your post. BUT; that ^ made me giggle. :]

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

October 26th, 2009 - 10:10 AM

AmyElectricity Said:

Nadbash Said:

2. Concern thyself more with thine vocabulary and less with thine eyeliner.
3. Spell not like a retard.
.

I'm new & am now a little scared of what to say after reading your post. BUT; that ^ made me giggle. :]

Don't be afraid. Be smart. The vast majority of new users that get flamed have been obnoxious and careless. If you put some thought into not only what you're saying but also how you say it, you'll be fine. We flame because we're all part of a community with an established way of doing things, and generally we all try to put some thought and effort to our posts, even if they're my retarded "I just banged a mule in the ass" threads.

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

October 28th, 2009 - 9:08 AM

Read this thread and stop being retarded you dumb retard cunts.