Fav Dead Baby Jokes? - All Ages (General)

Shelburt

CANTON/NC
Joined: 07/13/09
Posts: 3743

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:24 PM

No racist jokes

schojo

a town called hate, GERMANY
Joined: 03/16/09
Posts: 6689

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:25 PM

uh oh...here we go again...

Dr_Funkenstein

LODI/CA
Joined: 07/26/09
Posts: 951

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:25 PM

oh shelby....

deathfuckinmeta

CAMBRIDGE/MA
Joined: Old School
Posts: 5545

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:27 PM

O U

Shelburt

CANTON/NC
Joined: 07/13/09
Posts: 3743

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:27 PM

You caught me

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:28 PM

What's two feet tall and has trouble walking through doorways?

A baby with a javelin though its head.

schojo

a town called hate, GERMANY
Joined: 03/16/09
Posts: 6689

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:28 PM

Shelburt Said:

You caught me

hahahaha!!!

ghostsandvodka

NEWARK/DE
Joined: 03/15/08
Posts: 4575

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:29 PM

i swear to god i was going to make this thread
damn you shelly

Shelburt

CANTON/NC
Joined: 07/13/09
Posts: 3743

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:29 PM

ghostsandvodka Said:

i swear to god i was going to make this thread
damn you shelly

great minds vinvin

BriWa

ORLANDO/FL
Joined: 10/12/09
Posts: 205

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:30 PM

What's the worst part about killing a baby?

Getting the blood out of your clown costume.

DrSuesscide

CARY/NC
Joined: 06/20/09
Posts: 1281

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:30 PM

Dead baby jokes are so wrong. I've never laughed at one in my whole life.

Shelburt

CANTON/NC
Joined: 07/13/09
Posts: 3743

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:31 PM

DrSuesscide Said:

Dead baby jokes are so wrong. I've never laughed at one in my whole life.

I don't understand I mean it's just a dead baby
Gosh you're so boring

DrSuesscide

CARY/NC
Joined: 06/20/09
Posts: 1281

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:34 PM

Shelburt Said:

DrSuesscide Said:

Dead baby jokes are so wrong. I've never laughed at one in my whole life.

I don't understand I mean it's just a dead baby
Gosh you're so boring

THAT DEAD BABY WAS ONCE SOMEONE'S ALIVE BABY!!! SHOW SOME RESPECT!

Shelburt

CANTON/NC
Joined: 07/13/09
Posts: 3743

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:35 PM

DrSuesscide Said:

Shelburt Said:

DrSuesscide Said:

Dead baby jokes are so wrong. I've never laughed at one in my whole life.

I don't understand I mean it's just a dead baby
Gosh you're so boring

THAT DEAD BABY WAS ONCE SOMEONE'S ALIVE BABY!!! SHOW SOME RESPECT!

I STILL DON'T GET WHAT'S WRONG DURRRRR

(I thought you deleted for a while and tried to call you. I was worried, jus sayin"

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:38 PM

What's worse than ten dead babies in a barrel?
Nine dead babies in a barrel and one living one at the bottom eating his way up.

DrSuesscide

CARY/NC
Joined: 06/20/09
Posts: 1281

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:38 PM

Shelburt Said:

I STILL DON'T GET WHAT'S WRONG DURRRRR

(I thought you deleted for a while and tried to call you. I was worried, jus sayin"

Dead babies don't deserve to be made fun of. Now Helen Keller on the other hand, that bitch had it coming.

(Also, my account self deleted? I never got an email about it, or anything)

Shelburt

CANTON/NC
Joined: 07/13/09
Posts: 3743

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:39 PM

Why did Hellen Keller's dog kill itself?
You would too if your name was "AUUGHRAAUGHUHG"

Nadbash

MANCHESTER/NH
Joined: Old School
Posts: 12681

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:40 PM

DrSuesscide Said:

Shelburt Said:

I STILL DON'T GET WHAT'S WRONG DURRRRR

(I thought you deleted for a while and tried to call you. I was worried, jus sayin"

Dead babies don't deserve to be made fun of. Now Helen Keller on the other hand, that bitch had it coming.

(Also, my account self deleted? I never got an email about it, or anything)

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?

Because she was a woman.

schojo

a town called hate, GERMANY
Joined: 03/16/09
Posts: 6689

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:42 PM

Nadbash Said:

What's worse than ten dead babies in a barrel?
Nine dead babies in a barrel and one living one at the bottom eating his way up.

i thought it was the standard one

What's worse than ten dead babies in a barrel?
One dead baby in ten barrels!

DrSuesscide

CARY/NC
Joined: 06/20/09
Posts: 1281

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:44 PM

How did Helen Keller lose her hands?

She was trying to chop a dead baby's body!

caranicole

PENSACOLA/FL
Joined: Old School
Posts: 2677

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:46 PM

schojo Said:

uh oh...here we go again...

HAHAHAHAHAHA. ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THIS.

biology

TAMPA/FL
Joined: Old School
Posts: 3867

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:46 PM

Why were Helen Keller's hands purple?

Because she heard it through the grapevine.

BriWa

ORLANDO/FL
Joined: 10/12/09
Posts: 205

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:47 PM

Nadbash Said:

What's worse than ten dead babies in a barrel?
Nine dead babies in a barrel and one living one at the bottom eating his way up.

BWAHA you are so goddamn gnarly.

schojo

a town called hate, GERMANY
Joined: 03/16/09
Posts: 6689

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:50 PM

caranicole Said:

schojo Said:

uh oh...here we go again...

HAHAHAHAHAHA. ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THIS.

OMG YES.
just YES

schojo

a town called hate, GERMANY
Joined: 03/16/09
Posts: 6689

November 2nd, 2009 - 12:51 PM

and my look on that photo is priceless btw

deathfuckinmeta

CAMBRIDGE/MA
Joined: Old School
Posts: 5545

November 2nd, 2009 - 1:11 PM

O
M
G

caranicole

PENSACOLA/FL
Joined: Old School
Posts: 2677

November 2nd, 2009 - 1:19 PM

schojo Said:

and my look on that photo is priceless btw

Haha. I look fat.

wildcard13

ANN ARBOR/MI
Joined: 07/26/09
Posts: 365

November 2nd, 2009 - 1:21 PM

What sound does a baby make in the microwave???

I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

lawndartdeath

MILWAUKEE/WI
Joined: Old School
Posts: 850

November 2nd, 2009 - 1:29 PM

What's the difference between an abortion and a bag of sand?

You can't eat a bag of sand.

schojo

a town called hate, GERMANY
Joined: 03/16/09
Posts: 6689

November 2nd, 2009 - 1:31 PM

caranicole Said:

schojo Said:

and my look on that photo is priceless btw

Haha. I look fat.

lol, suuuureee.....

yourgravestword

SAN MARCOS/TX
Joined: 10/28/09
Posts: 115

November 2nd, 2009 - 2:20 PM

What's white and bounces around a baby's crib?

A pedophile's ass.

tnf

PHOENIX/AZ
Joined: 09/11/09
Posts: 1131

November 2nd, 2009 - 3:30 PM

wildcard13 Said:

What sound does a baby make in the microwave???

I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

OMG.

Separatist

PORTLAND/OR
Joined: 10/21/09
Posts: 155

November 2nd, 2009 - 4:04 PM

tnf Said:

wildcard13 Said:

What sound does a baby make in the microwave???

I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

OMG.

i heard this one over xboxlive a few days ago, my response was similar.
i told it to my sister and she hasn't spoken to me since.

KCB

BREMERTON/WA
Joined: 09/27/09
Posts: 38

November 2nd, 2009 - 4:11 PM

I've only heard one:

What is the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

forkimified

Ottawa
Joined: Old School
Posts: 4751

November 2nd, 2009 - 4:35 PM

Nadbash Said:

What's worse than ten dead babies in a barrel?
Nine dead babies in a barrel and one living one at the bottom eating his way up.

This one.

HellaBolt

WESTERLY/RI
Joined: 07/16/09
Posts: 2510

November 2nd, 2009 - 4:42 PM

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline.

you don't need to wear boots when jumping on the trampoline

wildcard13

ANN ARBOR/MI
Joined: 07/26/09
Posts: 365

November 2nd, 2009 - 4:45 PM

What's more fun than throwing a baby off of a cliff???

catching it with a pitch fork at the bottom

HellaBolt

WESTERLY/RI
Joined: 07/16/09
Posts: 2510

November 2nd, 2009 - 4:49 PM

what's more fun than putting a baby through a pitching machine?

connecting your louieville slugger with the brat.

what's a better sound than the baby hitting the bat?

the sound of it bouncing off the fowl pole.

TheGreg

SALT LAKE CITY/UT
Joined: 10/28/09
Posts: 60

November 2nd, 2009 - 5:00 PM

Whats the difference between a dumptruck full of bowling balls and a dumptruck full of dead babies.....

....you cant unload bowling balls with a pitchfork

HellaBolt

WESTERLY/RI
Joined: 07/16/09
Posts: 2510

November 2nd, 2009 - 5:07 PM

TheGreg Said:

Whats the difference between a dumptruck full of bowling balls and a dumptruck full of dead babies.....

....you cant unload bowling balls with a pitchfork

if its a dump truck, vwouldn't you just dump it all?

MechanicalWings

SAN JOSE/CA
Joined: 02/25/08
Posts: 4046

November 2nd, 2009 - 5:12 PM

HellaBolt Said:

what's more fun than putting a baby through a pitching machine?

connecting your louieville slugger with the brat.

what's a better sound than the baby hitting the bat?

the sound of it bouncing off the fowl pole.

foul*

TheGreg

SALT LAKE CITY/UT
Joined: 10/28/09
Posts: 60

November 2nd, 2009 - 5:16 PM

HellaBolt Said:

if its a dump truck, vwouldn't you just dump it all?

I believe the truck size is to reference the quantity of dead baby.

Starpunctures

ALBUQUERQUE/NM
Joined: Old School
Posts: 815

November 2nd, 2009 - 5:17 PM

Shelburt Said:

You caught me

The "foom" really brings it all together.

Yay!!!

HeartCooksBrain

Joined: 10/28/09
Posts: 263

November 2nd, 2009 - 5:24 PM

haha 3 things.....1. no racist jokes? it's either all ok or nothing is ok. if you can talk about aborted fetus' and their brains being sucked by a vacuum and eating the legs like wings, then you can say,''how do you pick up a jewish girl?......with an dustpan'' you can't just say yes to one and not the other. that's not how free speech works darlin sorry
2. no that dead baby was never someone's alive baby, are you fucking retarded? it's a joke. meaning it never happened. now if i was like ok you have a 5 lb brick and eric clapton's baby, which one falls first from the building....then that'd be heartless and cruel. shut up and get the sand out your vagina
3. what's better than 5 dead babies in the freezer for thanksgiving? 5 dead babies in the oven for tonight. lame i know.

i like this site, but some of you people are weird with your 'hate gates for newbies' and 'you can't say this but you can talk about this' and whiny posts. i dont know. i'm an asshole. i know this....but i'm ok with that.

Danny_Deadhack

AUSTIN/TX
Joined: 07/07/09
Posts: 789

November 2nd, 2009 - 5:41 PM

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

...

One's fun to smash with a sledge hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

Danny_Deadhack

AUSTIN/TX
Joined: 07/07/09
Posts: 789

November 2nd, 2009 - 6:02 PM

Danny_Deadhack Said:

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

...

One's fun to smash with a sledge hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

Huzzah!

savingmarykate

AUSTIN/TX
Joined: 10/25/09
Posts: 58

November 2nd, 2009 - 6:07 PM

HeartCooksBrain Said:

haha 3 things.....1. no racist jokes? it's either all ok or nothing is ok. if you can talk about aborted fetus' and their brains being sucked by a vacuum and eating the legs like wings, then you can say,''how do you pick up a jewish girl?......with an dustpan'' you can't just say yes to one and not the other. that's not how free speech works darlin sorry
2. no that dead baby was never someone's alive baby, are you fucking retarded? it's a joke. meaning it never happened. now if i was like ok you have a 5 lb brick and eric clapton's baby, which one falls first from the building....then that'd be heartless and cruel. shut up and get the sand out your vagina
3. what's better than 5 dead babies in the freezer for thanksgiving? 5 dead babies in the oven for tonight. lame i know.

i like this site, but some of you people are weird with your 'hate gates for newbies' and 'you can't say this but you can talk about this' and whiny posts. i dont know. i'm an asshole. i know this....but i'm ok with that.

thank you?

savingmarykate

AUSTIN/TX
Joined: 10/25/09
Posts: 58

November 2nd, 2009 - 6:07 PM

how do you fit 1000 dead babies in a phone booth?

blender.

Hollow

GAINESVILLE/FL
Joined: 11/18/08
Posts: 4020

November 2nd, 2009 - 6:12 PM

I like this thread.

Danny_Deadhack

AUSTIN/TX
Joined: 07/07/09
Posts: 789

November 2nd, 2009 - 6:13 PM

savingmarykate Said:

how do you fit 1000 dead babies in a phone booth?

blender.

How do you get them out?

Now with scooping action!