Ghosts

Well, I'm currently going through a divorce from the one person I'd give anything for and I'd do anything for. The one person that stole my heart and still has it. I thought I'd never feel this way and here I am having to say good-bye to him. Yeah he said we'd be friends and I truly hope so, because to lose him completely just might break me. His feelings have changed he says but of course mine haven't. Doesn't seem to matter what happens I still love him. Each day I make a step forward getting stronger and yet it doesn't change what I feel or that I'd do anything for him. What brings me to post today is a ghost. I was leaving the gym this morning and I swear I saw him. Of course as soon as the shock stopped and my heart dropped I knew and realized it wasn't him but it didn't change how hard it hit. I have about 2 months to gain as much strength as I can to face him and not cry, not break down. To stand strong and not let my feelings take over or kiss him. I'm terrified my heart is going to break all over again. All the stitching will be torn open and I'll bleed all over again. I know I'm not ready cause even now as I write this I cry. He is a ghost that seems to never go away no matter how hard I try to make him. Even states away he haunts me. Damn the heart for its betrayal. So now that I've gotten this off my chest maybe I can go back to sleep for the day is the hardest part and if I can sleep most of it away then I know I'll be fine. The night is the easiest part, its when I am more at peace.

~ Broken and Damaged