Friendship Ruined

Have you ever met a person that became your best friend??? I did, and i fell in love with him. But he never notice it..... He would hook up with all my friends and ask for advice and i would always be there 4 him. Its been a half a year and i couldnt stand it any more.. One day i told him the truth (not really.. because i gave him clues and he figured it out) then he told me he felt the same way. We promise not to ruined our friendship if something has ever to happen... Ever since, we fell in love... we didnt go out because of our age difference.... bt we would never get a chance to meet up and hang out because we would always be busy. He was the jelouse type of guy..Then I found out he was going out with someone and i asked him if it was true or not and he said yes its true bt we werent going out so it doesnt matter.. I was very sad and depressed. So i was out of town and i met an old friend of mine, and one thing led to another... (still a vergin) and some how he(my crush) found out and he got pissed and we started arguing. We've argued before bt never like this. He started calling me names such as slut and hor ect. I told him i never wanted to talk to him ever agian and to erase my #. I told him I couldnt believe i felt for him ... and he never replyed back. A couple of days later i told him i was a little harsh and apoligized of what i said and he asked who was this..... Ever since that day i still shed a tear and regret what i did and to still have him by my side. Was it worth it, i ask myself?? Was it worth losing the guy of my dreams!!!! Was it worth losing my best friend?.... I try not to think about him every now and then bt its just so hard not to. I just wanted to tell him how much i loved him because we never told each other that because we knew that already bt we were to afraid to say it. I love u tony. Please..... dnt forget