confessions of a teenage writer, going through a huge block.

so, i figure since no one reads this, thank goodness, it'd be the best place to just write everything out. i haven't written anything in a while, in general, and i miss it horribly. the only problem is that i either have no time to do so or no inspiration. my feelings, though, they're always easy to write about just because i'm an emotional mess, like seriously.

boys, i don't want to discuss. well, alright, yes, i do... but, alright, whatever. so, as most people find hard to believe the sfl can confirm: allie and kyle broke it off. i know, it's sad, but true. i mean, i definitely saw it coming, like, what? last june, maybe? yeah, that sounds about right. well, maybe before that, but she still had faith in them. the summer looked like it was the actual end, but somehow they managed to stick it through the beginning of the year and yeah... she's done with him, even though he's apparently been done with her for a while... jerk. lol.

um... boys... hmm... well, since sandy's pretty much the only one who knows what i'm talking about: zac better watch his back. tis be very true, darlings. oh gosh, now that word is stuck in my head. haha. anyway, i'm still figuring out the situation. i mean, clearly we can all tell it's official, as unofficial as it has been for months, but... zac, idk, he's still iffy to some extent. he's really REALLY hard to read when it comes to that sense, but i guess we'll see what happens.

i'm still trying to figure out my goals for my 17th year. for my 16th, i think the only one i had was to get a bf and we all saw how THAT turned out (not very well, btw). so... idk, maybe it'll rollover to this new year, but maybe not... who knows? for sure, for sure, though, i want to write more. i seriously want to finish at least my "Our Harmony's One to Hear" & "Traditional..." combo that i had planned. that's my top priority. then, it'd probably be to start writing songs more often, because i got to say, the last ones i wrote were beast, seriously. i still want to redo my room. it's me, but not quite there. i'm think something a little more modern, yet funky, but chic. i wanted to paint it, too, but apparently the retarded wood isn't gonna let me. oh, and as far as guys are concerned, well, maybe not a bf--though, it'd be nice, i'm not gonna lie--i want to open up a bit more. i seriously have this weird trust issue, so i'm thinking it'd be nice to get rid of that once and for all. AND I WANT A BEST GUY FRIEND! which i haven't had in a while and i so desperately need for guy advice and such.

um... parent stuff is blah. nothing too big, except little things here and there. idk, certain things piss me off, but then again, why wouldn't they? my aunt's still grr, but i'm dealing with it more and more, i guess.

hmm... i really don't want to present my french stuff tomorrow or read my psychology book, so i'm still procrastinating on that. anyway we could get another snow day? haha, sike! that's so definitely not gonna happen.

oh, and i've come to the conclusion that a certain zachary may have feelings for a certain sister of allster. i'm not even kidding. i'll explain later, though; it's a little too weird to discuss it like this.

so... alright, the main point of this was to discuss one of the situations mentioned above, but seeing as i realized that anyone could read it, i may as well stop here. i just really need to discuss with a certain someone who's known about it from the start. and who could offer me some insight. we'll see.

in the meantime... i'm trying to figure out my friday night plans... I NEED SOMETHING TO DO! and i'm figuring out what to do on the actual day of my birthday. i'm probably gonna stay home, as usual, which is a total bummer, but we'll see. maybe i'll actually get to watch 'fight club' now? sounds like a plan. :DDDD